SEPTEMBER 17, 2011

not that i want to brag, but hey i might be a mama in the making so dang it i’m going to brag on my embryos. we had two perfect grade A (the highest grade) embryos transfered on friday. the definition of a grade A embryo is “regular, equal size cells, clear blastocyst and no fragmentation”. all i can say is that andreas and i make some stellar embryos. we also have five grade B embryos frozen for future use.

we are back to waiting – the dreaded two week wait. in actuality it is ten days but it might as well be ten years. i will try my best not to fret, worry, or analyze every twinge in my body. also, good bye coffee and diet coke. diet coke, i am not so sad to see you go…but coffee…my latte…sigh.

SEPTEMBER 15, 2011

we did it!

five stinking, wonderful, hard, adventurous, life changing, exciting

years!

(and gracie because who can resist that face?)

SEPTEMBER 12, 2011

my retrieval was this weekend and today we found out that twelve eggs were fertilized by andreas’ best swimmer! twelve. still two hands and two toes. we are still in shock with our numbers – things are going so differently with this cycle, it’s mind boggling. before our concern was that we wouldn’t have enough embryos and this time we are beginning to wonder if we will have too many. oh the perils of modern medicine.

so now we wait. we wait for them to grow and divide and become a blastocyst.

SEPTEMBER 6, 2011

we have seventeen follicles!! s-e-v-e-n-teen. this is shocking, amazing and wonderful. the last cycle we had five. i am trying not to boggle my mind with how on earth our results can vary so much but just take in this number and rejoice!

AUGUST 29, 2011

andreas and i just made our first of several trips to st louis today. you see, we are starting our ivf #2 cycle. it’s been a long time coming, almost a year and a half since ivf#1. one and a half years of tears, doubt, frustration, saving money and i have to say it at times hopeless. it has been a long year and a half but we made it and we are going forward with the belief that this time it could work for us.

the clinic is in st louis so over the next month we will be making the 4 hour drive to be scanned, poked and prodded. it doesn’t sound like much fun, but actually i am thankful. thankful to be in the process again. thankful because this is our chance to be successful!

highway i-70 was smattered with sunflowers so i had andreas pull over and pick me some. i placed them to be next to my drugs to add a little cheer

AUGUST 20, 2011

we celebrated another birthday around here. i can hardly believe that andreas is really, dare i say it, 32? i like to tease him because for one and a half months we are three years apart, he will have none of it and begins to explain it’s the days that count not…blah blah blah. :)

i made him chocolate ganache cupcakes with chocolate frosting to take to work. it was a little endeavor but well worth it, let’s just say i have been eating chocolate frosting by itself for the past couple of days (and i don’t like chocolate!) we grilled outside, sang happy birthday, savored french silk pie (notice the chocolate theme – thank you tippin’s) and he opened gifts. i will take the chance to brag a little because this year i nailed it on the head – a one hour flight lesson. this idea has been brewing for six months and i hate to keep secrets!

happy birthday, A! i am right behind you….

AUGUST 6, 2011

i have this beautiful, smart, adventurous, silly and caring person in my life, that i call a friend. a very dear friend

and today was her wedding.i love this picture of her and her beau.

there is truly something special about watching the ones you love find happiness

it was an honor to stand up with her as she said “i do” and watch them become one

AUGUST 1, 2011

we came home to scouring temperatures, 100F+

a constant chorus of cicadas, which i find very soothing

my garden. well, let’s just say the extreme temperatures have not been kind to my strawberries

a kitty that has not left our side

trader’s joes opening a few blocks away

and we are back to finding our rhythm. making lunches in the morning, laundry, bills and honey to-do lists. surprisingly, i am glad to be back doing these things. i will enjoy my last few weeks at home before the school year begins. sigh. somehow the summer feels like it is winding down.

JULY 16, 2011

this trip to norway was about family and the chance to see a glimpse of what “everyday life” in norway would look like.

we hiked up a trail filled with blueberry bushes not quite ripe, spiky pinecones and to my delight goats greeted us at the end

i was spoiled rotten with an nespresso machine that could prdouce lattes in two minutes – delish

i knitted. and knitted some more. the only item in purchased in norway: wool

we met our godchild for the first time

andreas spent countless hours bouncing away on the trampoline with nathaniel

a day was spent by the shore, the water was a tidbit too cold for my liking but the tide pools were captivating

the final harry potter movie came out. a little disappointing

andreas spent some precious time with rannveig

our time in the south can be described in one word koselig

and finally it was time to come home. home to a kitty i missed sharing my pillow with. home to a garden brimming with promise before we left. home to an ivf schedule in my mailbox. and finally just home.

JULY 9, 2011

zermatt, switzerland. perhaps one of my favorite places on earth.

there is something about it that makes you really believe in true beauty. unblemished. perfect.

as we hiked through the mountains, i felt invigorated. my soul felt relieved to be surrounding by such beauty. and i was happy. i wanted nothing more and nothing less than to be in that moment. a moment that i cherished because that has not been my heart this past year.

that evening, my body was tired. a good tired. like i had accomplishment something great. we ate a very savory fondue and toasted the day accomplishments. afterwards walked the streets as it barely sprinkled. no umbrella needed. just my A and i.

i want to go back. always. forever.