DECEMBER 26, 2011

we celebrated this wonderful days with old traditions: reading tommy og tigern on christmas morn’

remembering those who are near and far

a new traditions: the norwegian seven sorts of baked good. i only made it to three this year (cinnamon rolls did not make the photoshoot)

finally the anticipation of exchanging gifts is over!

DECEMBER 15, 2011

mimi, my grandma, was a lover of santa. my fondest holiday memories include her house filled with a santa in every bedroom, living, and yes even the bathroom. i sure it drove pawpaw crazy and i cannot imagine the hours it took to set up everything just right. i inherited two of her santas – a porcelain figurine that she painted and this little door knob cover. he has hung on our bedroom door the past few years. every time i notice him, i remember her. i remember the christmases we celebrated at mimi and pawpaw’s house. i remember it being magical. and somedays part of me wants to desperately go back and visit, if only for a minute to refresh those memories. i thought about making a couple more santas this year but somehow it didn’t feel right. is it not about cherishing the past and creating new memories? and so santa will sit on our doorknob this year, whispering stories of the past and reminding me to move forward.

DECEMBER 10, 2011

week 13 – peach

12/4/2011

2.9 inches. .81 oz

my little bean you have caused quite ruckus the this week. it started the weekend of thanksgiving with a little spotting, which the on-call midwife said was okay as long as it didn’t get worse. so i took it easy and nada for the rest of the week. the weekend comes again and bam! more spotting and bleeding, but this time it worse. we went into the doctor on tuesday to have a peak. you cannot image the fear in my heart. i was beginning to relish hitting that 12 week mark and beginning to breath a little easier. the best sound in the world was hearing your heart on the doppler that day. the ultrasound revealed that somehow my sack had torn away from my uterine wall, hence the bleeding. it should repairs itself with time, but in the mean time i am on a no activity schedule. work and then home. we were able to watch you on the screen for a few minutes, you are such a little swimmer! it was hard to really see you, but we were able to see your spine and that was amazing. fully developed and perfect, it made you look human. another bright spot in the week was a package from auntie amanda. oh how she spoils us so! in it was a pregnancy book for me and a couple of papa books for A. but i squealed with delight when i opened a huge tub of kiehl’s whipped body butter and a new concoction from lush. no, i will not even share with you little bean.

week 14 – lemon

12/11/2012

3.4 inches. 1.5 oz.

this week has been relatively calm. i’ve been finishing last minute christmas shopping and we mailed off our christmas package has been shipped to norway. this was our year to be in norway celebrating christmas. we decided to visit in the summer instead in hopes that at christmas time we would be a+l+one. i love our time at christmas in norway. there is something about traveling to a faraway land during the holiday season that makes it seem magical. i love winter in the north. it’s cold, very cold, outside and usually the ground is covered with snow. our days are spent inside around a warm oven visiting with family and friends that we don’t get to spend enough time with. so there is an ache in my heart this week because i should be packing my suitcase, making sure gracie has sitter and preparing for a long jul i norge. but instead i am admiring my decorations, thinking of what to get A for christmas this year and wondering what it will be like to have you with us this time next year.

DECEMBER 3, 2011

week 11 – lime

11/20/2011

1.6 inches. .25 oz

i love the fact that we started with seeds and dry beans and now have quickly moved to fruits. you are growing quickly and this week your toes and fingers are no longer webbed! you have gone from gummi bear to human in a matter of weeks. i have noticed that i am not as exhausted this past week. only a couple times did i have to come home and crash after work. still not a ounce of morning sickness, though this week nothing has sounded good to eat. the one thing i have noticed is i am always always thirsty! which means i drink i ton, which then means i have to pee a ton. i promise, i am not complaining.

week 12 – plum

11/27/2011

2.1 inches. .49 oz

i will admit when i saw the size of the plum and thought “that is in me?” i began to panic just a little because a plum is awfully big. but i did my research and you are the length of the fruit now, not the width or weight for that matter. and this week is important because it is the end of the first trimester. all of your vital organs and systems are complete and supposedly the risk of losing you is very low. it is has been a long twelve weeks. i have been holding my breath with every ache, pain, sneeze and doctor’s visit. i have not allowed myself to become too attached to the pregnancy or the thought of you coming home one day. i have not bought one single baby item or read any pregnancy blogs or books. it feels too soon. now don’t misunderstand me, i think about you, bean, all the time. i pray for your development and health daily. the other day, A and i started to throw around names (he is so picky!). i am looking forward to the second trimester, in feeling more confident and able to enjoy this pregnancy. yah for week 13!!

DECEMBER 1, 2011

this is all that remains from our thanksgiving dinner. and while i am not a huge pumpkin pie fan, i cannot fathom having thanksgiving without it. my other two dishes did not last more than two days – yeast rolls ( i believe andreas ate 6 in one day) and a killer mac and cheese (and i mean killer: bacon, three cheese, breadcrumb topping). we celebrated at my aunt kathryn’s house with a scrumptious dinner followed by football and looking through back-friday ads in the newspaper.

for me thanksgiving is a time of reflection – remember the past year and the blessing that we have received. so i wanted to record those this year, here. i asked Andreas to write a few down, and here is what he came up with. and yes he does know that he has two letter Bs. i have to admit, my eyes started to tear up just a little as i read over his list.

Anniversary
BBQ
Baby
Collage basketball
Dollars
Easy days at home
Finished fence
Gracie
Homemade food
Ice cream (especially chocolate)
Jacobs well group
Kansas city
Lindsay
Movember
Norway
Oversea flights
Prayers
Quiet neighbors
Roadtrips
St Louis hospital
Trondheim
Unforgettable walks in the mountains
Visitor from Norway
Wife
X-ray, to see baby
Zermatt

i did not get that creative, but mine are nonetheless heartfelt.

i am thankful for scientific advances in modern medicine. without doctors, researchers, and patients andreas and i would not have had the opportunity to create our family in this way.

i am thankful for celebrating five years of marriage. coming from a divorced family, ideas of commitment or separation will always looms in the back of my head, even if they are far far away. Andreas and i have struggled through infertility together, a crisis that not every relationship survives. but we did. and we will continue to.

i am thankful for my job and the opportunity to go back to school. a few years ago, daily i would ask: what do i want to do with my life? well i have found something that i love, i am good at and fulfills me. there can be nothing better than that.

i am thankful for my husband. this year he has worked really hard and put in so many extra hours during the week. i know this has come as a personal sacrifice and he did it for us. he did it for me. i consider myself blessed.

Happy Thanksgiving, all!