FEBRUARY 1, 2011

i had a dream a few weeks ago that has stayed with me.

it was a simple dream. one that allowed me to feel joy and true happiness. it is a dream i want – perhaps need – to remember.

we were at the weston apple festival. the warm october sun was on our backs. above the sea of people i saw the row of white tents down main street. we walked in and out of each one, taking our time. while in one particular tent i looked around saw beautifully hand-carved wooden toys. a brightly painted wooden train and a set of building blocks were carefully displayed. a little boy, maybe two to three years old with soft blond hair, reached up to grab the train. as he went to grab the train, i reach for his hand and scoop him up all in one motion. at the same time, A came from the back of the tent with a little girl, 5 or 6 years old, on his shoulders. her light brown hair was pulled back by a pink hair band. we all walked out together into the warm sun. it was my family. i didn’t skip a beat. i knew them and they knew me. the rest is a blur – there was a stroller and did we talk about going to buy a turkey leg? towards the end, dream lindsay said to real lindsay “look. don’t you see how happy you are?” and i was so happy.

i have prayed for a glimpse of my family for a year. was that them or was that just a wonderful dream? all i know is that is gave my soul a taste of what is to come – the joy of life that has been dampered this past year someday will be gone.

so i will continue to wait. still praying for more dreams and praying even harder for someday be in that tent with my family, on a warm october afternoon.